How to conquer the holiday stress monster

Is it possible to maintain inner calm and a relaxed attitude in the midst of the holiday craze? What if you could flip your relationship with stress this holiday season and look at it as an opportunity to identify and adjust your perception so that your words, thoughts, deeds and actions align with the person you are committed to being?  Rather than loading all kinds of expectations and assumptions around what you think the holidays should look like, feel like and sound like, how about flipping your perceptions into a place of wonder and curiosity?  

As soon as you assume or expect that you or another person or situation should show up a certain way, you instantly render yourself extremely vulnerable to rising and falling depending on specific outcomes. Thought forms like, "If this isn't perfect, I won't love and accept myself" or "If I don't complete everything on my to-do list in a specific way, then I have failed."

Failure is simply a label we place on an undesirable outcome. Curiosity and fascination open up our child like space of wonderment which evoke feelings of joy and a willingness to explore new ways of experiencing life without the need to own, control and possess, analyze, interpret and conclude. Thanksgiving offers us an incredible opportunity to explore replacing our assuming and expecting with gratitude for what we do have going in our favor.

If you feel the pressure in your body when you look at your to-do list, simply ask yourself: "What do I need to remember to relax my response to what I feel I need to accomplish in order to feel safe enough?" Then listen and see what pops up inside your castle. Perhaps you will hear, "Remember this: You add value to each situation because of the person you are, not because of what you do."

Think of it this way: You are the landlord of your inner life. How many tenants are you giving free rent to that are literally trashing your internal home? Fear? Doubt? Worry? Perfectionism? Guilt? Inadequacy? Lack and scarcity? 

Listen to the intonation you use with yourself and demands you place upon yourself and others this holiday season, and look for opportunities to remember important pieces of information that perhaps you are distorting, deleting or generalizing that perhaps are robbing you of your ability to refresh and enjoy the aspects of a holiday created to refresh and restore what you value most in this life.