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Posted 01.05.2009

Network without being pushy

Page 2

Be sensitive to other people’s reactions. Pay attention to the reaction you get when you ask for something. If the person seems uneasy or hesitant, ask questions to discover what’s causing his response. Perhaps he’s uncomfortable meeting your request. Perhaps he is having problems at work or home. Perhaps you just caught him at a bad time. Be curious and open to discover the real issue. This allows you to deepen your relationship even more.

Don’t be attached to the outcome. If you ask for something and hear no, choose to believe that you can find another way to meet your needs. Your success or failure is not dependent upon one person and what he or she does or doesn’t do for you.

Make requests, not demands. Ask people if they can meet your request. Don’t demand that they meet it.

Be willing to hear no. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. That doesn’t mean that if you do ask, the answer will automatically be yes. It means you have made a request and the person has a choice about how to answer. It’s okay for him to say yes or no. Perhaps he’s too busy, perhaps he’s not comfortable referring you, perhaps he doesn’t need your services.

Be appreciative. Express appreciation even if the person tells you no. Let people know that you appreciate their taking the time to talk to you. Be grateful for anything they do for you.

Follow up. Let the person know what happened. Did you have an interview with his best friend? Did his referral lead you to a deal? You forward the relationship when you let people know what occurred as a result of what they did for you.

Ultimately, the key to being seen as a valuable person, not a pest, is to treat others as you would like them to treat you. Employing this golden rule will make sure your calls and e-mails will always be welcome.

Cindy Rold, JD, is a success coach, professional speaker, and co-author of 99 Networking Nuggets and The Networking Gurus News, a comprehensive monthly list of business networking events in the Denver metro area. She can be reached at 303-734-9776 or cindy@cindyrold.com. Visit her website at http://www.thenetworkinggurus.com.

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