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Posted: September 28, 2011

Top 10 deadly networking mistakes

If you make me sick, it's not going to help you

By John Heckers

Everyone probably knows that the only effective way to find employment in this market is to network. But too many networkers make deadly networking errors that can actually hurt them, rather than help them. Here are a few infamous ones.

1). Collecting names and business cards. Some people think that networking is about collecting as many business cards as possible. It isn't. Networking is about helping others and, in return, receiving help. If you're just going to a networking event to collect cards, you're wasting time and money. It can also impede your search in that you feel like, by collecting cards, you're doing something useful, which keeps you from the anxiety that drives you to actually DO something useful.

2). Going ill. One woman came to one of our networking events clearly very ill, and infected several people there with her creeping crud. Need I say that those she infected don't feel very positive toward her. If you're sick, the best place to be is in your bed, not at a networking event.

3). Inappropriate attire. If it is a business/professional event, go business/professional or don't go. If the organizers of the event aren't clear about suggested attire, call and ask before you go and make a fool of yourself. If in doubt, go here to see the rules for appropriate attire.

4). Bedecked with jewelry. The bling bling detracts from your credibility. One ring per hand, and only on the ring finger, please. (Women: Your wedding set counts as one ring.) No big earrings. Guys - no earrings period. I'm also seeing a trend in women for toe rings and open-toed shoes. This sends the wrong message. No big necklaces, bracelets, etc. Dress and accessorize yourself with simple elegance.

5). Monopolizing the conversation. Don't blather on. Say your piece and shut your mouth. Don't speak too fast, either. And please speak up at a networking event (women, this means you, too!). If I can't hear you or understand you, I can't help you.

6). No business cards. A networker without a business card is like a politician without a lie. Get some simple business cards printed up giving your name and contact information. Don't clutter the card, but you might put one or two things to identify who you are on it. Leave the back blank (and make sure it's a light color). Almost everyone writes on the back of business cards to remind them about who you are.

7). Staying with one person too long. Get in. Get out. Move on. Many people are so uncomfortable networking that they'll glom on to one person or a small group. This is always a mistake, unless that one person is the CEO of a company you want to work for and that person is interviewing you for your next job. Otherwise, remember that your task at a networking event is to make connections.

8). Trying to get too much at the networking meeting. You can't build on trust you don't have. Smart people don't give out leads at the big networking events. You're there to meet and greet. There should be several people from each networking event that you want to have coffee with. After you've built up your trust at the coffee meeting is the time to ask for leads - not at the networking event.

9). Trying to tell too much. I'm sorry, but my eyes just glaze over at most people's "elevator speeches." Here's a tip. Your elevator speech should contain: a). Your name, SLOWLY and CLEARLY spoken. b). Your current or previous title. Don't say "I'm a senior (whatever) executive." What does that mean?. c). ONE major duty or accomplishment from your last position stated in very, very brief terms. d). What you're looking for. That's it. Make it 30 seconds of measured, understandable speech or less. Don't drone on.

10). Hitting on someone. If you're at a business event, keep it business (at least while you're there). If there is mutual attraction with someone, and you're both single, great. Take it outside of the networking event. Go out for drinks after, or something. But remember your purpose at a business networking event is to do business...not monkey business.

Networking is vital in the job search. But it can backfire if you aren't networking with skill and class, actually delaying employment for you. Also, please remember that whatever you do in networking is public, not private. (More on that here.) Good luck with your search.

Do you want to network with some great executives? Join us on Monday, Oct. 10 for an executives-only networking event at the DAC. More info and registration here.
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John Heckers, MA, CPC, BCPC is an Executive Transition Coach and Executive Coach in Denver, Colorado with 30 years of experience in helping people with their careers. Please join in the discussion below or contact him privately at jheckers@heckersdev.com. Can't get enough Heckers? Sign up for our free "Career Tip of the Week" here and read John's executive blog here .

Enjoy this article? Sign up to get ColoradoBiz Exclusives. The opinions expressed in this article are solely that of the author and do not represent ColoradoBiz magazine. Comments on articles will be removed if they include personal attacks.

Readers Respond

My advice tends to be for executives and those who want to be executives, as this is the demographic I serve. I stand by what I said about playing by the corporate rules and dressing the part. However...I work for myself and, if not consulting to a corporation I and my colleagues dress in ways we'd never approve for our job-seeking clients. If you don't like the corporate rules, work for yourself (where you'll find out soon enough if you're behaving and dressing appropriately), or work for a smaller company that fits your mode of dress and way you like to behave. Neither I nor my colleagues would fit very well into stodgy corporate America....but if you're going to play in their playground...play by their rules or get kicked off. By John Heckers, MA, CPC, BCPC on 2011 10 03
Deana, it's absolutely true that you should be able to be yourself at work, which includes fashion. But hey, I'm most comfortable in jammies - that doesn't mean I'm wearing them to an interview. By the same token, if you go as someone you're not, then who are they hiring? I'm never an advocate of pretending to be someone you're not to get a job, just any job. That won't serve you or the employer well. Even if it "works" & you get the job, at least one of you will end up disappointed. The days where women have to completely leave fashion at the door are over. Not everyone who's hiring is a conservative old white guy. But a lot of them are, so be aware of how they'll perceive your appearance. At the end of the day, you're most likely to get a role if you dress for it. If dressing for the role doesn't make you happy, then perhaps you're seeking the wrong role. By Monica Hahn on 2011 10 03
Hi Deana. You're right that I'm not an expert in high fashion. But we're not talking about fashion here. We're talking about getting hired. There are a variety of studies done by a variety of people that let us know what attire executives respond best to when making a hiring decision. While I don't follow "Fashion Week" in NY, I DO follow these studies rather closely. The reality is that you can dress and behave in ways that please you, or dress and behave in ways that please employers. Who do you think is more likely to get the job? I often get pushback, esp. from younger people, on my advice in the attire area. How you dress is, of course, your decision. I'm not there to dress you. But...if you truly want to get hired and make a paycheck...AND get ahead in a corporate environment...it is best to conform to the way that successful executives think and dress. Save "Fashion Week" for the weekend. By John Heckers, MA, CPC, BCPC on 2011 10 03
Thanks for taking the time to give this advice. I would like to suggest that you talk with a fashion expert before giving advice on this subject. It doesn't sound like you approve of any type of fashion sense. A boring, conservative look is just as bad as gaudy jewelry. Advising the number of rings to wear seems a bit out of the realm of your expertise. By Deana on 2011 10 03
Great advice, John. Thanks for sharing. We all need to have an edge to help us stand out in the crowd (in the right way). By Tony Peccolo on 2011 09 30
Great tips John! To David's point, a great tip to add is to keep your satire & sense of humor at bay while networking. You don't know the other person's background or viewpoint, so why risk offending them? I was at a networking function last week & some guy I'd just met went off on a political rant that made it clear we have nothing in common & I wouldn't want to spend any more time with him. I'd have figured that out eventually, so it was almost a gift, but unfortunate for him. By Monica Hahn on 2011 09 29
Thank you for your input David. I'm sure you're right. By John Heckers, MA, CPC, BCPC on 2011 09 28
"A networker without a business card is like a politician without a lie." So how many politicians might read this article, or their kids or spouses or mothers or fathers or aunts or uncles, friends and supporters. Cheap shot and not that funny. A lesson here is always be kind and decent and your networking opportunities increase. The scent of the flower clings to the hand that gives it. By David Kerber on 2011 09 28

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