Posted: August 12, 2009

Unite and use the term “woman”

A single word can make a huge difference

By Theresa M. Szczurek

On an increasing number of occasions over the last few months, I have noticed men and women, from senior executives to entry-level team members, refer to women as “girls.”  You might say, “What does it matter?”

It matters a lot. 

Why?  I remember seeing a promo video of a man I thought was a top-notch speaker. He really impressed me until he slipped — referring in some way to the women involved in the business as girls.

He was so unaware of this as a mistake that he included that clip as a demonstration of his best material. Immediately, the red flag went up for me (and most likely for other professionals watching).  If he would say this on the record, what else would he say?  My respect and trust for him as a professional suffered; I could not hire or refer him.

In my coaching, I help clients understand that proper terminology is expected and is an important part of business performance. If you want to be on the top, talk in a manner you expect from someone already at the top. Using respectful terms such as “women” rather than “girls” makes you look good and allows you to show respect for others. 

Here are a few practical pointers:

Be aware
Do you remember the classic marketing formula, AIDA: Awareness, Interest, Desire and Action? In our communications efforts, we strive to move the market to be aware, have interest, desire our product/services, and take action to buy. 

Use AIDA to change your own communications patterns. Once you have awareness of your behavior, interest (or the intention to communicate in a way that will be inclusive) and desire to change, you will take appropriate action.

Old habits are hard to break
My suggestion is use terms that do not connote gender such as leader. A few examples:

• I want to thank the leaders who helped with the registration table
• The staff did a fabulous job
• The committee members were so involved this year
• How can we thank the students for their participation?

Surround yourself with people who use proper terminology
Encourage them to give you feedback. Find a coach, a MasterMind group, or co-workers you can ask to help you.

Give others feedback
People appreciate constructive feedback if it is shared with intent to help. Being silent only confuses — it makes it appear that you approve of this speech.

When does a girl become a woman?
If she has gone through puberty, she is a woman. When in doubt, call any female a woman. For sure, anyone older than high school is a woman. I was surprised and impressed recently at a Girl Scouts event — the event leaders called all the girls women.  This gave me a wake up call to refer to the members of the troop of 7th and 8th graders I lead as women. We all need reminders and help along the way.

Women and men unite… and get passionate about using the proper terminology.

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