How can you transform your thinking, and thereby your action and life
Lauren Miller //May 24, 2018//
How can you transform your thinking, and thereby your action and life
Lauren Miller //May 24, 2018//
Frustration flows from our desire to be liked, right, understood or appreciated. Frustration can also occur when you want a circumstance to turn out a certain way and it doesn't. Frustration can quickly flip us into self-pity which walks hand-in-hand with selfishness.
Do you want to really fly in life? The one who commits themselves to seeing the positive in the midst of negative moments in life create for themselves a power position that leads to successful outcomes. Could an eagle soar if it fixated on its own wings? No, in order to fly we must forget about ourselves, our expectations and assumptions and focus on the opportunities for expansion contained in flight.
Think about this for a moment. When was the last time you felt frustration? Did you have an expectation on yourself for a certain outcome that you did not experience? Perhaps you felt misunderstood, overlooked or under-appreciated? Did you slip into self-pity? Frustration can be a spring-board into the quick sand of self-pity if you are not careful.
Self-pity is defined as a self-indulgent dwelling on one's own sorrows or misfortunes. When you wallow in self-pity you physiologically restrict executive thinking. Your ability to tune into possible solutions and opportunities in the midst of the misfortune are blocked. The quick sand of self-focus associated with self-pity swallows up your ability to tune into available resources for support and restoration and you become your struggle.
When I was diagnosed with advanced cancer one week prior to my final divorce court date with three young children I had my quick sand moments of self-pity that rendered me incapable of tuning into the light at the end of the tunnel. Thankfully I quickly learned that that nothing thrives or heals when I give the struggle the power to define what I am capable of overcoming and moving through.
What struggle do you face today? Have you given your struggle the power to define you and your attitude? If you are going to go to the trouble of throwing a pity party you might as well be successful at it.
Before you choose the path of self-pity I encourage you to reflect on several ways self-pity will keep you stuck in the struggle, revised from Nine Attitudes that Keep You Happy, Joyce Meyer Radio. Remember that you are the landlord of your mind. You have the power to evict those thoughts that fuel paralysis in the midst of pain.
One of the quickest ways to flip your thinking when life doesn't show up the way you want it to is to simply look for an opportunity to help another person who is struggling. Our greatest joy comes in the measure through which we serve. Is there someone in your near field (the relationships you have with other people) who can benefit from your time and attention? When I was able to help one of my children move through a struggle I forgot about my own pain.
The first sign that you are about to enter into self-pity comes when you refuse to receive a positive statement like: "Things will get better." Protecting your struggle is a sure sign that you (your identity, beliefs and capabilities) have become captive to the struggle.
When you recognize the disempowering ways self-pity slithers into your perceptions you can then take action and refuse to throw the pity party. Below are 8 ways that will help you throw a successful pity party and stay stuck in your struggle:
HOW TO THROW A SUCCESSFUL PITY PARTY
Remember this: You are not the struggle unless you choose to be. You cannot be powerful and pitiful at the same time. When you think a negative thought the brain actually releases a chemical that excites the brain, which is why you can become addicted to negative thinking. Persistence in firing positive thoughts to override negative thoughts leads to the creation of new messaging systems within your brain.
Your thoughts create your attitude towards life. Your attitude is your closest friend or worst enemy and you get to create it each day. Is life for you or against you? Your choice of response will either unlock the possible or lock you up in the impossible. Choose wisely, your life experience depends upon it.