More By This Author

Current Issue

Current Issue

Posted: January 08, 2010

Elvis is following me on Twitter

But can I teach a one-eyed cat to blink?

Mike Cote

Ten things I plan to accomplish in 2010:

1. Foil a terrorist attack with nothing but a tube of squeeze mayonnaise, a box of Dots and a spork.

2. Return all books I have borrowed from friends that I've kept for more than a year but have yet to read.

3. Reduce and maintain my body weight so it's never more than twice my wife's weight. (Thus new use for mayonnaise in item #1.)

4. Teach our one-eyed cat how to blink.

5. Learn to yell louder than our dog can bark.

6. Recreate the scene in "Curb Your Enthusiasm" in which Larry David smashes a smoke alarm to bits.

7. Lobby Nabisco to resume publishing mock apple pie recipe (no apples needed) on box of Ritz crackers.

8. Eat more chikken at Chick-Fil-A.

9. Log enough miles in my car to listen to the "Best of 2009" 13-CD rock mix collection my son compiled as a Christmas present.

10. Get "Elvis Presley" to follow me on Twitter - Wait that one has already happened. Really.

{pagebreak:Page 1}


Mike Cote is the former editor of ColoradoBiz. E-mail him at

Enjoy this article? Sign up to get ColoradoBiz Exclusives. The opinions expressed in this article are solely that of the author and do not represent ColoradoBiz magazine. Comments on articles will be removed if they include personal attacks.

Readers Respond

Congrats on number 10--already!--but I think you aimed too low. Getting Elvis to follow you in person is a lot harder, but believe me, it's worth it. *Wink* Jody, the one-eyed cat By Jody Reale on 2010 01 08

Leave a comment

Remember my personal information

Notify me of follow-up comments?

Please enter the word you see in the image below:

ColoradoBiz TV

Loading the player ...

Featured Video