Bob Vanourek //April 9, 2014//
“Not often in the story of mankind does a man arrive on earth who is both steel and velvet, who is as hard as rock and soft as drifting fog, who holds in his heart and mind the paradox of terrible storm and peace unspeakable and perfect.”
-Carl Sandburg, poet and author, writing about Abraham Lincoln
Say you’re the leader of an organization, or manager of a department, that is struggling, and you know you need to take your leadership to the next level. You’ve read lots of books, listened to TED talks, received 360-degree feedback from colleagues, and been to off-site trainings, but you can’t seem to kick it up a notch.
Based on our experience and interviews with leaders around the world, one of the key levers comes from flexing between the hard and soft edges of leadership, what we call “steel and velvet.”
This is difficult because we all have a built-in personality that predisposes us heavily toward one side or the other. As leaders, though, we need to develop the judgment to recognize what the situation requires and summon the courage to act appropriately—even if it is uncomfortable for us.
Steel
In steel mode, leaders decisively exercise authority and power to achieve excellent results. Steel requires confidence, discipline, and toughness. Steel leadership involves committing to tough decisions and forceful actions.
In steel mode, leaders expect team members to execute plans on schedule and within budget. In steel mode, leaders make difficult, sometimes controversial, decisions. They are willing to go against the tide and do things that are unpopular. They are willing to take people out of their comfort zones in service of a higher goal and to hold people accountable for their commitments.
Velvet
By contrast, velvet is the soft edge of leadership, encompassing collaboration, relationships, and stewardship. It uses persuasion, not position power.
On the velvet side, leaders empower colleagues to become fellow leaders and co-creators.
In velvet mode, leaders show humility, even vulnerability at times, and don’t pretend to have all the answers. They show confidence in the team, trusting that together they can solve any problem.
Velvet leadership involves patient listening and connecting with people. It trusts, thereby building trust. It facilitates creativity. It seeks consensus, asking, “Even if you disagree, can you live with this?”
Velvet leaders let others lead, building their capabilities. They tolerate mistakes to let people learn, so long as those mistakes do not jeopardize the organization’s survival.
Steel and Velvet
Such leadership—flexing between the hard and soft edges—requires stepping out of your natural behavioral box:
The key is not just steel, or just velvet, or some murky middle ground between them. There is continual movement back and forth: “flex.”
Practical Applications