How to fast from negativity in 2021
Help your mind, help you
What percentage of your brain was hijacked into negativity in 2020? What were the negative go to phrases that you gave free rent to between your two ears?
A go-to phrase is a statement or a declaration that is fueled by a belief. For example, you might say, “nothing is working out for me” this is a phrase that is fueled by a belief that all events, relationships, health, money, spirituality etc are not working out for you…according to your definition of working out.
You might push back and say: “Well, that’s not completely true, I do have a good relationship with my a few of my collogues.” Great-that’s the piece of information you need to upload and focus on in order to contradict your negative phrase that nothing is working out for you.
Do you see how this works? When you declare a negative phrase over your life, in order to crack the negativity so that the light of possibility can shine in, your first action step is to find that one piece of information that contradicts your negative statement.
This simple action actually opens up your minds ability to tune into the positive (a potential solution, positive spin on a situation, forward action steps etc.).
Neurolinguistic Programming theory is a methodology that offers the specific tools to champion your ability to change the patterns of your emotional and mental behaviors. In NLP, you are reminded that you have the ability to change your mental constructs in such a way that you can override negative thinking loop patterns.
Basically, you have the ability to change negative thinking patterns into positive thinking patterns which spill over into your behaviors. It takes self-awareness and the ability to adjust using specific tools and repetition, it’s a game-changer.
Be very careful at generalizing specific situations that do not work out in your favor over your entire life. This kind of “all or nothing” thinking will sink your mental ship very quickly, leaving you gasping for air in the midst of the waves of your negative thought patterns. Had enough?
What if in the new year you made the choice to consciously fast from negative phrases that you use? Can you imagine the landscape in your mind that you would recover and could then use to create positive forward momentum (in your leadership, team building and culture)?
Let’s face it, 2020 offered plenty of “earth school” material to go negative between your two ears. How about you take back the power you give to your negative conclusions about your life and re-write the script between your two ears. You may say: “well, I can’t help it, life is not turning out the way I want it to.” You’re right, you can’t help it, unless you want to.
Whether you think something is or isn’t…your right. (Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right”). Your behavior will follow the conclusions and assumptions your mind creates. When you forget you are the boss of your thoughts, your thoughts can quickly become the boss of you and directly impact your business and life.
Do you want to fast from negativity in your life? Perhaps you’re saying, “That’s a stupid question, of course I do.” This question is meant to get your conscious buy-in to do something differently. You may actually be addicted to negative thinking, as your brain produces a chemical that can be addictive when you are negatively spun into a strong emotion like anger and frustration.
The first step to freedom lies in your ability to be accountable to your negative thinking and phrases you use often: “My name is _____, and I’m addicted to negativity.” You can choose your muse: drama, taking offense, comparison of self to others, judgement of self or others, self-doubt, fear, worry, gossip. Clarity of focus, leads to accuracy of response.
Let’s break this down into a doable equation using Dannemiller’s Formula for Change:
D x V x F x L > R
- D:Dissatisfaction with your current situation which may come in the form of frustration; confusion; overwhelm or negative perspectives.
- V:Vision: clarity of focus leads to accuracy of response, a clear vision is essential for forward action steps to appear.
- F:Forward Action Steps: Putting into practice simply, forward action steps create the infrastructure for sustainable change to take root and replace old patterns of thought and behavior. Creating new messaging systems within our brain through simple repetition of positive behavior result in personal transformation.
- L:Leadership/Coaching: Mentorship and coaching have proven successful support elements resulting in positive, sustainable shift. Connecting with a coach that aligns with your personality and core belief systems is essential in order to create psychological safety for personal growth and development.
- R:Resistance to change. It has been shown that whenever one of the above elements is missing in a person’s life that R: resistance to change will win out. When all 4 elements are present: Dissatisfaction with your current situation or conflict, Vision, Forward Action Steps and Coaching then your desire to experience a positive SHIFT in your life will win out over resistance: you will flip your script from negative thinking and behavior into positive thinking and behavior.
Customize the above formula to create action steps for yourself in the New Year. Let’s say you are dissatisfied enough with negativity in your life and around you that you want to take action. Great! What action do you want to take in order to move in a positive direction?
Perhaps you will commit to starting your day in prayer, reading, meditating on what you are grateful for you and what you want to see more of today than yesterday in the area of positivity. Write down a specific action that you will take after getting a vision of what you want to see more of and follow through with that action. Reflect in the evening on how you did implement that specific action to mentally anchor positivity in your life.
Let’s keep this tool simple. You are more apt to follow through with your proposed positive change, when you make it a simple behavior: “at the top of every hour I will pause, breathe, pray and declare 1 thing I am grateful for.” Help your mind, help you.
The definition of positivity is actually a practice of remaining positive or optimistic. The word practice has built in grace in that you are moving towards a desired state of being, you are practicing being more positive today than yesterday.
The ultimate result in the New Year will be a lighter version of you. Stress is the power you give to outside circumstance to define what you believe you are capable of handling successfully. Take it back, one thought at a time to up your confidence factor around what you can handle successfully.
Lauren E Miller, has a Masters in Adult Education with a Certification in Human Resources Development. She has personally conquered two of life’s top stressors at the same time, advanced cancer and divorce. Now Google’s #1 Stress Relief Expert, Award Winning Author, HRD Trainer and Certified Sherpa Executive Coach, Lauren provides process driven programs and custom trainings with structure, guidance, support and accountability designed to create positive change in behavior resulting in positive impact on business (IOB) and life purpose. Explore More: http://LaurenEMiller.com