How to unzip and step out of anxiety
Behind the scenes of stress
Stress is the power we give to outside circumstance to define our worth; value and what we believe we are capable of handling successfully. What is it that spins you? What thoughts linger in your mind that hold you back from risk taking and stepping out of your comfort zone?
Your ability to identify and adjust will remind you of what your soul always knows: You have the ability to overcome any perceived challenge if you choose to remember. Once upon a time you had an courageous desire to try new things and test the gifts and talents you have been blessed with… she can ride a bike, so can I… I simply need to learn it, which I CAN.
Your point of reference for identity slowly started to spill out into the world around you, flipping you into a state of amnesia: "Oh that's right, I forgot that I am not my struggle; opinions of other people; my fear or self-doubt."
Come with me – remember what you looked like; felt like; sounded like when love and confidence was your way. Can't remember? Guess, you have seen enough confident people in your life with love in their hearts, pull from that if your childhood was filled with fear. Imagine what you would look like; feel like and sound like if fear wasn't even on your mental radar. Imagine what your day would look like if curiosity replaced self-doubt: "What is the gift and opportunity in this moment."
In my early twenties, I got my postgraduate degree in education with an emphasis in early childhood education. To this day a few times a year I will go into elementary schools and substitute teach so I can to remember what my grown up mind forgets. Last year, I remember observing a group of kindergarteners playing on the playground. The amount of exploration and curiosity was expansive all the way down to exploring different ways to transition from one part of the playground to another: hopping; skipping; jumping; rolling; singing; clapping.
The more I study the brain the more I realize how quickly we can change our mind by simply changing the way we move and respond to life with the element of consistency. Have you ever looked at a stagnant pond verses a moving stream? Death verses life and the choice is yours. In order to unzip the cloak of fear, self-doubt and worry, it is essential that we resurrect our remembrance of the possible by mentally and emotionally pulling from past successes. The world is full of creative solutions, which honor the highest version of who we truly desire to be in this world, it's simply our conclusions which hold us back from internal freedom from outside circumstance and the power those circumstances have over us.
"Why do I feel disconnected and unsafe?"
Human beings need to feel safe and connected for inspiration, creativity and productivity to take place. Positive feedback is a powerful motivator, and it can come from within (e.g., personal satisfaction and affirmation) or from coworkers and reviews. When you practice remembering your worth, the world around you will also begin to recognize and respond to it.
"Why isn't this situation what I thought it would be?"
Whatever you focus on grows bigger! Your focus is your choice. Releasing the negative energy of unmet expectations onto which you hold when you "resist what is" gives you the opportunity to shift that energy into creative solutions and empowerment.
When you address negative thinking by trying to replace it with positive thinking, you set yourself up for resisting what is really happening. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, and then seek the grace to move through that which you are feeling. Remember your worth and capability, and it will be your guide back to inner peace.
"Why do I feel unseen, unheard and underappreciated?"
From your perspective, these feelings may be true; however, if you choose to stay in this energy, you will remain in a state of emotional paralysis.
Your inexhaustible need for approval from the world around you is truly an addiction and becomes the ruler of your life. You will rise and fall depending on how the world judges you each day, and you will continue to feel drained, depressed and unmotivated.
The truth is that you are enough, just as you are. You may not know it yet, or perhaps you do but you simply forgot that you are not the opinions of the world around you.
Be careful of the different faces of "playing the victim" (e.g., blaming, complaining and judging). These faces are the quickest and surest way of remaining "stuck" in your journey of life. This behavior serves no one – especially you.
Taking full responsibility for your life leads to empowerment and speaks to this statement:
I believe I am capable of handling anything. I have full confidence in my ability to come up with creative solutions to this situation. The way to do what I want to do does exist … I simply have not yet tuned into it. Take action!
As I went through the experience of advanced cancer and divorce at the same time, I would fill my mind with remembrances of moments in my life when I was victorious in the midst of challenges. This practice gave my soul permission to guide my flesh out of fear; self-doubt and worry.