Nine traits for joy in life and work

Three questions continue to emerge to the front lines of life satisfaction: Who am I? Why am I here? And what will it matter?

I have seen in my short life, a man who had all the riches in the world and experienced such a deep sense of disconnection and lack of value that he took his own life. I have also seen a man who had just enough to get by each day yet had such a deep interior awareness of who he was, why he was here and why he mattered that his joy was contagious to all who found themselves in his presence. It is not what we do or produce that unleashes life satisfaction; it is who we are while we do what we do that bring about life enjoyment and satisfaction. 

The following negative attributes often flow from a desire to be rich and famous. There is nothing wrong with being rich and famous as long as being rich and famous does not become the source of your purpose, worth and value in this world. When being rich and famous become the source of your sense of identity, worth and value you render yourself instantly vulnerable to something that can never give you what you really want in life: to know who you are, why you are here and what you being here will matter.

My invitation for personal excellence that will not only effect your sense of value and worth in this world but will also empower those people around you into personal excellence because you hold them in a space of positivity and potential is as follows: Replace the following negative attributes often associated with a personal pursuit to be rich and famous in order to know that you matter and have worth and value in this world with the character traits that follow this list:

Erase the following negative reactions in life:

Malice: spite; vindictiveness (revenge); vengefulness; evil intentions; deep-seated meanness. “You hurt me so I’m going to hurt you or rejoice when things don’t go your way as a form of punishment.”

Bitterness: A feeling of deep anger and resentment; emotion fueled by anger and hate.  Fueled by lack of forgiveness and release…holding a grudge on someone because of a past pain or injustice you feel done to you: “I won’t let this go because if I do then it will be as if it never happened and it did.” As St. Augustine said: “Resentment is like taking poison hoping the other person dies.”

Wrath: irritation; strong anger; can be fueled by resentment; desire to punish someone, get back at someone who hurt you.  “I’m angry and everyone is going to be punished in my path. Life is not turning up the way I want it to so I am a walking time bomb waiting to explode on an innocent by-stander. My wrath is often fueled by fear: I’m not enough; I don’t measure up; I’m not Ok; I might have to die to my need to be seen, acknowledged and recognized (EGO) OR my need to be right, liked and understood.”

Slander: Gossip…spreading scandal or harmful information that damages another’s reputation. To speak badly about someone; Usually fueled by insecurity, feeling that another person has something you want or the person reminds you of some perceived inadequacy you have about yourself. “I need to cut you down so I feel better about myself or safer in my reputation or position in life, or being the informant makes me feel important.” Speaking false information or misinterpretations about another person.  Slander walks hand in hand with jealousy and envy and is fueled by feelings of insecurity.

Abusive Speech: Using harsh language that often includes insults; Original Greek Word: Aischrologia: Abusive language: filthy speech; foul language. “I cut you down with harsh intonation and words because I cut myself down using the same harsh words and intonation that make up my head trash.” Negative self-talk and abusive language towards others flows from a lack and scarcity mindset: “I’m not enough and either are you.”

Replace the above negative reactions with the following nine character traits for successful leadership and life satisfaction:

Righteousness: to be aligned with high moral standards. Life satisfaction flows easily when we are aligned with our highest good and the good of all concerned. “When I show up in life with nothing to hide because I practice humility; integrity; love and authenticity, my sleep is sound and content. I am willing to admit when I am wrong and I am conscious of good and bad behavior along with a willingness to learn, adjust and understand.”

Faith: a strong belief and trust in someone or something; to have confidence in things not seen. “When I show up with faith in life I open myself up to positive forward progress that often times contains inner peace, wellbeing and confidence that things will work together for a greater good in spite of not knowing how things will turn out or why things happen as they do.  As I increase my faith, I increase my ability to seek out positive solutions without fear and doubt; at times the solution may simply be the acceptance of the things I can not change and the choice to focus on the things I can change as the commonly referenced Serenity Prayer invites me to explore.”

Love: the ability to authentically seek the highest good of another person, often times associated with intense feelings of care, concern and affection. “When I love first and then step out and lead I put to the front lines of my response to another human being the following attributes: patience; kindness; gentleness; forgiveness; humility; trust; confidence; perseverance.”

Endurance: the choice to remain in a challenging situation. “When I choose to remain in situations and feel safe not knowing the outcome in spite of differences of opinion, unrecognized solutions and unpleasant experiences, I expand my confidence in what I am capable of handling successfully along with understanding that challenges are simply situations that require my attention as I seek (often times with other people) the most advantageous solution.”

Kindness: to be friendly, generous and considerate. “When I am considerate of your needs, ideas and plans, I immediately create a bridge for positive collaboration and connection.”

Patience: the willingness to accept that life does not always show up the way you want it to and that includes people. “When I am patience I leave room for curiosity as I ask myself: how can I grow in this situation? What can I learn that will make me a better person? Leader? Follower? As I expand my ability to remain calm and kind with people who do not do life the way I do, I open myself up to new ways of doing things. I expand my capacity to learn and grow when I replace negative reactive behavior with curiosity and fascination fueled by a willingness to slow down and linger in the experiences before me.”

Forgiveness: to shake it off; let go of a grievance; love in spite of hurt feelings; start fresh; release negative feelings toward someone in spite of feeling hurt, overlooked or abused. “Each time I make the choice to forgive and release, I remove a restriction I have placed on my ability to love and connect and inner peace returns. It is important to know that my choice to forgive does not invalidate the hurt and pain associated with your behavior, it simply allows me to return to my highest good and offer you the opportunity to begin again.”

Gentleness: to be kind and tenderhearted not harsh with your intonation and actions, willing to create a bridge of connection through the archway of humility. “When I am gentle, I realize that we are all in this together, you are not better than me, I am not better than you. As I embrace the feeling of equality I push away all feelings associated with status which often evoke comparison, envy and jealousy and I am able to approach you with kindness, respect and grounded confidence as we seek optimal solutions together.”

Companies are made up of people. When people show up with the character that supports their highest good and the good of all concerned, efficacy fuels effective systems that result in productivity.  When human beings feel as if they are a part of something bigger than themselves, that they matter, success is an obvious outcome along with life satisfaction.

Enjoy a quick video on Life Satisfaction. Next Grab & Go Stress Relief Complimentary Workshop at Park Meadows Pilates, Lone Tree, CO: April 4th, 11 am.  Topic: Shake it Off: Learn NLP and EFT tips to help you shake off the emotional hits you experience in “earth school.” RSVP =>