How to conquer the holiday stress monster

You are the landlord of your inner life

Is it possible to maintain inner calm and a relaxed attitude in the midst of the holiday craze? What if you could flip your relationship with stress this holiday season and look at it as an opportunity to identify and adjust your perception so that your words, thoughts, deeds and actions align with the person you are committed to being?  Rather than loading all kinds of expectations and assumptions around what you think the holidays should look like, feel like and sound like, how about flipping your perceptions into a place of wonder and curiosity?  

As soon as you assume or expect that you or another person or situation should show up a certain way, you instantly render yourself extremely vulnerable to rising and falling depending on specific outcomes. Thought forms like, "If this isn't perfect, I won't love and accept myself" or "If I don't complete everything on my to-do list in a specific way, then I have failed."

Failure is simply a label we place on an undesirable outcome. Curiosity and fascination open up our child like space of wonderment which evoke feelings of joy and a willingness to explore new ways of experiencing life without the need to own, control and possess, analyze, interpret and conclude. Thanksgiving offers us an incredible opportunity to explore replacing our assuming and expecting with gratitude for what we do have going in our favor.

If you feel the pressure in your body when you look at your to-do list, simply ask yourself: "What do I need to remember to relax my response to what I feel I need to accomplish in order to feel safe enough?" Then listen and see what pops up inside your castle. Perhaps you will hear, "Remember this: You add value to each situation because of the person you are, not because of what you do."

Think of it this way: You are the landlord of your inner life. How many tenants are you giving free rent to that are literally trashing your internal home? Fear? Doubt? Worry? Perfectionism? Guilt? Inadequacy? Lack and scarcity? 

Listen to the intonation you use with yourself and demands you place upon yourself and others this holiday season, and look for opportunities to remember important pieces of information that perhaps you are distorting, deleting or generalizing that perhaps are robbing you of your ability to refresh and enjoy the aspects of a holiday created to refresh and restore what you value most in this life.

The first holiday season that I fully entered into from a place of authentic desire to realign my words. Thoughts, deeds and actions with what I truly value most was when I was diagnosed with advanced cancer. For this first time in my adult life, a childlike wonderment filled the interior rooms of my perceptions and everything around me flipped into a wonderland of opportunity to create moments filled with what is truly essential on this journey of life.

I tuned into and lingered in the moments which aligned with what I value most: loving and being loved; serving others and being present in the moments I am gifted on this journey of life. Life satisfaction flows from who you are while you do what you do.

The next time you start to feel the heat rising up in your body because you feel you will not get the outcome you expect, pause and go right to the source of the stressful expression: your body. Breathe in to the count of seven, hold it to the count of eight and exhale to the count of seven. Repeat this breathing technique three times.

With each inhale think about one thing you have going on in your favor. With each exhale, imagine releasing the stress in your body, tune into your main emotion: fear, doubt or worry.  I remember going through advanced cancer, when I was flipped into fear frenzies, I would pause, pray and implement grateful breathing. Negativity shrinks in the light of gratitude.

Watch a 10 Minute EFT Demonstration to help decrease your stress flare ups this holiday season.

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