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Tag: business coaching

Are your filters blocking effective communication?

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Believe it or not the majority of your conversations with other people involve the filters you carry. What does that mean? Your filters are your knowledge, experience and values that directly influence how you listen, think and communicate.

In Sherpa Executive Coaching we refer to filters as the block to your ability to be centered and objective in conversations with people who have different points of view.

Believe it or not, not everyone thinks the way you think. We actually see others as we are rather than who truly are.  

“When your filters are in place, you only interpret things as if you had said them. You don’t search for what someone else means, based on their experience, knowledge and values. So, what are filters? 

  • Your personal agenda: Self-contained directions and guidelines that you follow every day. 
  • Pre-conceived notions: Views you have held in the past, with or without adequate information and evidence. 
  • Judgment: Formal decisions you have already made in advance. 
  • Experience: Answers that worked in the past, based on what you have been through in your life. 
  • Opinion: Beliefs or thoughts you have on a variety of issues. 
  • Values: Things you hold most important as you relate to your job and working with others.  

Filters fuel mind-reading, fortune telling (assumptions about how the future will be), and conclusions about why people do what they do or say what they say. Ultimately your filters block effective communication, whether that be collaborative problem solving or casual sharing of information. Pause for a minute and reread the list of filters again. For each filter ask yourself a simple question: How does this filter impact how I communicate?  

As you find yourself in situations where you feel you can positively impact other people’s perspectives, be conscious of your intonation, body language and choice of words. “Your job is to realize how often your filters influence what you think, hear and say.” (Be Don’t Do, By Brenda Corbett and Judith Colemon).  

One of the most effective ways to create safe space between two people communicating is to practice a simple tool used in the Sherpa Executive Coaching process: Listen, Think, then Communicate. It sounds like a simple enough tool to use yet because of our filters, our ability to consciously hear what another person is trying to communicate gets in our way. When we slow the dialogue down by asking questions for clarity, or asking for a pause to think about what was just communicated, and then we can formulate our response based upon the insights that often drop in the pause.  

Our world is full of offense these days which flows directly from our personal filters. Much of what spins us into an emotional fit in our daily life usually involves another human being, so it is worth our mental attention to explore what is really going on behind the annoyances. What if you made the conscious effort to see life through the lens of the person you are communicating with this week? What would you imagine you would notice to be different?  

One of the quickest ways to cut through filters is the use of well-placed questions: 

  • A question to ask yourself: Hmmm. Now that spun me. What’s that about for me? Take accountability for your emotions and get to the bottom of which filter was triggered. 
  • I notice you didn’t respond during our meeting. What was that about for you? This question allows you to step away from conclusions you might make around another person’s behavior. 
  • What do you want to do about that? What have you done in the past that worked for you in a similar situation? What do you need from me? These 3 questions give you, the receiver, the opportunity to stay in the audience (the objective observer) rather than jumping on the stage and taking a role in the sender’s drama. Clarity of focus leads to accuracy of response.  
  • That’s a lot of information. Would you please give me a few sentences to sum up what your main perspective is on this topic? This is a great question to use if the sender of the information has a pre-conceived notion from their past experiences that more detail is better.  

Just because someone has a filter does not mean you have to sit and receive the ramification of that filter. For example, you say something in a conversation and the receiver says: “that offends me.” You have the ability to crack the filter code by inserting a question that can open up effective dialogue: “That was not my intention. What specifically about what I said offended you?” 

Based on what the sender says in response to your question, you have the opportunity to stay off the stage of drama and explore your next question to create positive connection verses a dialogue where the filters are guiding the outcome, which too often end in an animal planet scene. 

When I was training up for my black belts, after each technique, we would always come back to a sparring stance. From this position we could easily execute our next move in the ring.

In Sherpa Executive Coaching, we have a similar stance for effective coaching conversations: Be centered and objective, be a good listener and be inquisitive.

These 3 “Be’s” put you in a powerful stance as a detective of what is actually being communicated rather than what the filters dictate. Take back your power to create safe space in the midst of dialogue.  

Take Action: 

  • Observe your conversations and notice where your filters may be distorting the information that you are hearing and influencing how you communicate and behave.
  • Make a conscious effort to hear what other people are trying to communicate along with understanding their side of the story.  
  • Be quick to hear and slow to speak. Think before you speak. Keep your filters in check.  
  • Ask effective questions to gain clarity around what is being said.  

 Lauren E Miller, has a Masters in Adult Education with a Certification in Human Resources Development. She has personally conquered two of life’s top stressors at the same time, advanced cancer and divorce. Now Google’s #1 Stress Relief Expert, Award Winning Author, HRD Trainer and Certified Sherpa Executive Coach, Lauren provides process driven programs and custom trainings with structure, guidance, support and accountability designed to create positive change in behavior resulting in positive impact on business (IOB) and life purpose.  Explore More: http://LaurenEMiller.com  

How the best leaders win top talent

The job market is hot and highly competitive, and it’s expected to stay that way into the foreseeable future. In order to attract and retain top talent, you need to meet the expectations employees have today—many of which may be new to you if you’re stuck in the practices of the past.

It’s time to throw away “command and control,” offer individual choice and flexibility, and build equality and inclusiveness into your culture. Create the same positive experience inside your company that you undoubtedly provide on the customer level. I call this a “Camelot” culture, where leaders put their people first and “dare to care” about their employees on a holistic level.

The best leaders come closest to making Camelot a reality and establish a sustainable competitive edge in winning and keeping the great people they need to grow.  

Leading a Camelot culture  

Camelot cultures are led by people-centered leaders who share a number of important attributes—including a willingness to be both vulnerable and transparent, the building blocks of trust. These leaders connect deeply with their people and develop respectful relationships by telling the truth; showing competence and accountability; building trust through empowerment; listening deeply; encouraging innovation; and refraining from judgment while still being decisive. 

They feel genuine empathy, passion, and concern for the wellbeing of their people before anything else. They develop and convey clear guidelines for how to participate in work, expectations for each role, and how to communicate as a team. They regularly recognize effort and show people that they matter and that their thoughts, opinions, and contributions are valued. 

These are the things that create the positive and inspiring employee experience that people are looking for and that allow them to perform at their best.  

People choose to work with people, not companies 

A Camelot culture begins with how you treat candidates and extends throughout the lifecycle of every employee. You can list all of the factors that make up your Camelot culture to help persuade hesitant candidates, but that’s not enough. People need to feel what it’s like to work for you, and feeling is best explained through story. 

Tell candidates why you are in the business you are in, what your purpose is, and what Camelot means to you. They want to know in your own words. Tell an authentic, passionate story that reveals something about you as a human being and as a leader. And then listen. People are generally terrible at interviewing. Be delightfully different by making your interviews two-way conversations that are told in stories.  

Communicate frequently throughout the recruitment process. Show respect by keeping candidates informed about the process and when to expect decisions. Keep it top of mind that in our current, hot market, decision-making speed is critical. Candidates won’t wait days for you to follow up—and neither will employees. Continue to treat people in the same respectful way when you’ve successfully convinced the right candidate to join your Camelot culture by becoming an employee.   

The best leaders don’t have a retention problem. After all, when you’re working in Camelot, why would you ever want to leave? 

Kathleen Quinn Votaw Kathleen Quinn Votaw is CEO of TalenTrust. Her first book, Solve the People Puzzle; How High-Growth Companies Attract and Retain Top Talent, debuted in February 2016. Her firm has achieved several awards, including recognition from Inc.5000 in 2015 and 2016. She speaks frequently and advises CEOs on trends in talent and how to be strategic in developing a people strategy. Kathleen has served on several nonprofit boards including Colorado Companies to Watch and ACG-Denver. Reach Kathleen at [email protected] or 303-838-3334.

How to Analyze and Overcome Entrepreneurial Barriers

So you want to start a business …  

Starting your own company sounds like a great way to earn money while having the freedom to be your own boss and make your own rules. And, as a Coloradan, you’re in a great place — Colorado is the 10th best place to start a business in the country. 

However, it’s not easy. Being your own boss means facing and overcoming a lot of obstacles, many of which are internal. So what are some of the entrepreneurial barriers that you might face? Here are a few — as well as how to overcome them. 

Not Understanding Product-Market Fit 

One of the biggest reasons that businesses fail is that their product or service doesn’t match the needs or desires of the market. There are a lot of great ideas out there, and many people will say they’re willing to pay for them if you ask. 

But what will they actually pay for? That’s the true measure of product-market fit. If no one is doing what you’re planning to do, there may be no paying market for it. So don’t invest a lot of time, money, and effort until you’ve determined that there’s a strong paying market for your product or service. 

One way to test the market is to use a “minimum viable product,” or MVP. Create a stripped-down version of what you plan to do and see if customers are willing to pay for it. You’ll also learn how much people are willing to pay, which helps develop the full product. 

If you’re struggling to understand the market, some business education might help. An MBA can be a huge catalyst for those who want to start a company. Among other things, an MBA allows you to network with like-minded people. 

A Lack of Financing 

They say it takes money to make money, and often that seems like a significant barrier. However, you don’t usually need as much money as you think, especially just to get started. 

You can start by using your own money or borrowing from friends or family. Start with the basics of getting a website and building a minimum viable product to test the market. Consider working with a co-founder who has skills you don’t have and pool your resources.  

 Once you have a good idea and a bit of traction, you can start trying to raise money. This requires marketing your business idea to investors who are interested in your sector. Make sure you partner with an investor whose vision matches yours. 

Fear of Failure or Embarrassment 

One thing that stops many entrepreneurs from ever getting started is a fear of failure. They aren’t 100% sure that the venture will work, so they don’t move forward at all. If you fall victim to this barrier, you’ll stay stuck in your unfulfilling day job and won’t leap to pursue your dreams. 

 To overcome this obstacle, create a strong plan and strategy for your business. Work on your mindset and start to expect good things in your life. Think about your dreams and imagine the life you could have if you pursue them.  

 Don’t worry about failure, either — it’s rarely final. Many entrepreneurs who have a venture fail to take what they’ve learned and go on to found a successful business afterward. 

Conflicting Priorities 

Wanting to start a company and be your own boss is tempting, but it may not be the only priority in your life. Sometimes you have other goals that seem to conflict with the entrepreneurial lifestyle. 

 To overcome this barrier, just remember that entrepreneurship can take on many forms. If you have kids, for instance, you might decide to start a business that allows you to work from home and doesn’t require you to travel. Instead of inventing a product, you might choose to be a freelance service provider. 

 Starting a business doesn’t have to mean developing new technologies and moving to California. You can stay right here in Colorado and manage the other elements of your daily life while still being your own boss. 

An Uncertain Environment 

With COVID-19 and other world concerns, today’s environment might seem like a bad time to start a company. But the truth is, there’s never a perfect time to start a business. There are always political and economic challenges that you have to navigate. 

 The key is to understand the environmental challenges and find ways to overcome them. For example, starting a business during COVID-19 might help you become more resilient and have a variety of fallback mechanisms that will help your company thrive for years to come. 

 Don’t see uncertainty as a dealbreaker. Instead, take advantage of the opportunity to create a stronger, more flexible company. 

Are You Ready to Start Your Business? 

Colorado is an excellent place for budding entrepreneurs, whether you have a new technology idea or want to become a freelancer. Starting your business here will give you many opportunities to grow, expand, and overcome obstacles. 

 If you’ve been dreaming of owning a company for years, don’t wait any longer. There’s never a perfect time. Take a step forward, and then another, and then another. In the end, you’ll be amazed at how far you go! 

How to take action in the midst of uncertainty

Let’s face it, there are plenty triggers all around these days that easily toss you into the fog, you can’t see where you are going, what’s around the corner or how things will turn out. Are you feeling uncertainty taking up residence between your two ears?

When you are uncertain you are not confident or don’t feel you can rely on something. What is that “something” for you today? Your health? Finances? Relationships? Your Career? Those in leadership positions that directly impact your sense of wellbeing?

We could go on and on as there are numerous triggers linked to the feeling that you cannot rely on something.

Let’s nail it down for you today and explore how to keep moving forward on the windy roads of uncertainty.

I will often reference the act of quarantining your thoughts that hijack your confidence when I work with clients as quickly as possible.

There are several tools to help you get the uncertainty out of your mind, below are just a few for you to explore:

  1. Take a piece of paper fold it in half length wise. Or draw a T chart (a large capital T that divides your piece of paper in half). On the top left side write: Stressor. On the top right side write: Action. As soon as you identify that “something” that is triggering uncertainty, the feeling that you can’t rely on it, write it down under the Stressor.
    Next, brainstorm an action step you can take to move in a positive direction. For example, let’s say you are stressed about the thought of losing your job which is igniting feelings of uncertainty and releasing stress in your body. Get it out of your head ASAP and write it down on the paper.
    Next explore your available resources that support you. An example of an action that you could take would be to connect or reconnect with other individuals who are in your industry and explore potential back up plans if you have observable data that supports your stressor of possibly losing your job.
  2. Resist the urge to make assumptions and conclusions. Commit to focusing on observable data. Avoid mind-reading and fortune telling: I just know they are going to force me out of my job. Do you know that for sure? Push back on those thoughts that exist outside of observable data. If someone who is in the power position to actually let you go and they said: “Hey, your job is on the line.” Then you can take action on that observable data. Don’t create the drama and cast yourself as the main character. Get off the stage and camp on the observable data. Review The Ladder of Inference
  3. Erase and Replace: Erase the negative catastrophizing thoughts that are linked to uncertainty and replace them with what you are certain about in your life. The definition of certain is: known for sure; established beyond doubt, having complete conviction about something, confident. What do you know for sure, in spite of the uncertainty? What is established beyond doubt in your life? What do you have complete conviction about? When was a time in your life you felt uncertain about something?
    You re-established confidence as a result of focusing on what you know to be true about yourself, your life, your relationship with others, your talents and abilities.

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I’ll pull back the curtain of vulnerability a bit and share a time of uncertainty within my own life. Back in 2006 I was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer one week prior to my final divorce court date, with 3 young children. I didn’t drink, smoke or eat unhealthy foods and yet my body was dying. The link between stress and disease is growing with each decade.

A landmark study out of the University of London concluded that stress is more of a contributing factor to cancer and heart disease than cigarette smoking or high cholesterol foods. In less than a two-year period of time I went through a divorce, double mastectomy, 16 chemotherapy treatments, an additional year of experimental chemotherapy, 6 weeks of daily radiation, 14 surgeries due to third degree burns from the radiation/chemo combination they had to graphed my back onto my front, so I really don’t know if I’m coming or going these days and a MRSA staph infection that kept me in the ICU for a week.

When I went through advanced cancer and divorce at the same time, uncertainty was a constant resident taking up way too much landscape between my two ears. Perhaps that’s you today.

Is there something in your life that is a constant source of uncertainty? It got to the point where I knew that if I didn’t take every thought captive for life and healing that the battle would rage within my body and perhaps overcome me. One phrase I used daily when the fear of uncertainty gripped me was: “I’ve done difficult things before and I can do it again.”

To keep my mind in the moment I would say: “Be here now, you lack nothing in the present moment. The solution lies in my ability to do the best I can with the task at hand.”

I invite you to explore coming up with a battle cry as you run towards enemy lines. The unknown thing which you feel is bigger than your strength to handle it successfully.

What is your battle cry that you will declare as you run into the storm, drive on the foggy road into the unknown?   ____________________________________________________

I still declare these frequently when the familiar uncertainty serpent slithers in and robs me of my God given ability to remember: “I’ve walked through the eye of the storm before and I can do it again.”

I would also declare my desired state of being in the form of a gratitude prayer, feel free to make this your own with your own situation that fuels uncertainty: Thank You My Healing, down to the cellular level! The doctors were trying to get me 5 more years of life back in 2006. I beat the odds and you can too.

Remember, stress is the power you give to outside circumstances to define what you believe you are capable of handling successfully. Resist the urge to give more authority to your circumstance than to your inner ability to handle it successfully. Raise the bar today and declare your battle cry towards victory over uncertainty. You are not alone in your struggle; all things are possible for those who believe.

 Lauren E. Miller has a Masters in Adult Education with a Certification in Human Resources Development. She has personally conquered two of life’s top stressors at the same time, advanced cancer and divorce. Now Google’s #1 Stress Relief Expert, Award Winning Author, HRD Trainer and Certified Sherpa Executive Coach, Lauren provides process driven programs and custom trainings with structure, guidance, support and accountability designed to create positive change in behavior resulting in positive impact on business (IOB) and life purpose. Explore more at http://LaurenEMiller.com.

How to get unstuck

Did you know that feeling stuck is a ramification of thoughts that you have been camping on for a while? Good news is, you are the landlord of those thoughts and you can override them with new and improved thought patterns to help your brain get unstuck.   

Stuck: to be fixed or jammed in a particular place, unable to progress or find the solution to something. 

Sound familiar? Perhaps you are feeling stuck as you read through this article. Do you feel stuck in a position professionally? Perhaps you feel stuck when it comes to your ability to move through conflict? Asking for what you want? Setting healthy boundaries with a friend or colleague? Whatever undesirable position you are currently in, there is a way through it.  

You are not alone. In the midst of our drive to succeed, we all experience those stuck moments. Some of them catch us by surprise, others are like a slow drip that eventually builds up to a complete clog in the drain of our life. It’s not a matter of if you will feel stuck on the journey, it’s a matter of when and what you do about it when it hits.    

I remember a cool parable I heard a long time ago about a person who fell into a deep hole. Two people passed by this person and offered a remedy that wasn’t helpful. The third person was a friend who chose to jump into the hole. The person in the hole said: “Why did you do that? Now we are both stuck?” The friend replied: “No worries, I’ve been down here before and know the way out.”  

When I went through two of life’s top stressors at the same time: advanced cancer and divorce I found myself stuck in the hole many times. Perhaps you came across this article and you are feeling stuck in a hole or maybe you know someone who feels stuck. Either way, let’s explore how to get out. 

Let’s take a look at what happens to the brain when we are experiencing feelings around being stuck: 

  • Unable to progress is a ramification directly linked to a fixed perception about a situation in the mind. 
  • Neurons that fire together, rewire together. If you are firing neurons hooked to negative thought patterns: I’m stuck; there is no way out; this is the way it has been and the way it will always be, you will create a messaging system that backs up your impoverished view of reality and you are along for the ride until you make a conscious effort to change your thoughts around your situation. 
  • Once a messaging system is created around a negative perception: I’m stuck, the RAS (Reticular Activating System) goes to work distorting, deleting and generalizing information that does not support your conclusions about situation that is fueling the conclusion: I’m stuck.  
  • Messaging systems formed in the brain by repetitive thoughts can be rewired by consciously offering an alternative thought. For example: I’m stuck and the thoughts that anchor that messaging system can be replaced with: I don’t know what to do in this situation…YET and I am willing to find out a way thought it. YET is the key word that opens the mind up to solutions-based thinking.  

Bottom line, just because a negative thought drops into your brain causing you to feel stuck does not mean you need to give it free rent and serve it breakfast in bed. You are the landlord of your mind and have the ability to evict. In the midst of the stuck feelings, you are capable of giving yourself permission to explore what it would look like to get unstuck. It’s when you forget that there is another way available to you that you stay stuck.   

Much of what holds you back from personal excellence in your life comes directly from the meaning you make from the information you are taking in around you, and the assumptions and conclusions you make from that meaning.   

For example, let’s say you have a colleague that continually gossips to you about everyone else on the team. You feel that gossip is non-productive behavior and don’t like that they continue to do it around you.

You could create meaning around this situation that sounds like this: well, this person lives alone and doesn’t have a lot of people to talk to so maybe this is their outlet. Shazam, you just backed up the meaning around this situation with a conclusion that is keeping you stuck as an accomplice of non-productive behavior. Rather than saying: “I’m stuck, I feel bad for them, there’s nothing I can do.” 

You can direct a thought that sounds like this: “Hey, wait a minute, I don’t have to be the victim of someone else’s words if I don’t want to be so what do I want to do about it?” Now you are in a position to get yourself unstuck from an undesirable situation. By posing an alternative thought linked to curiosity you have given yourself access to the part of your brain that is solution focused.  

Anytime you interject a question to an impoverished view of reality you short-circuit the negative thought pattern and open up your mind’s ability to explore an alternative way of thinking about a situation.  

 Some questions to ponder the next time you feel stuck: Don’t I have to stay here? I wonder if there is another way through this? What would I do if I was unstuck? What might a way out of this situation look like? What resources do I have available for solution? What resources do I want to connect with that would be helpful to me? What is one forward action step that I could take to get unstuck? 

Take Action: 

This week think about what you are thinking about. When you do feel stuck, write down the thoughts that are fueling that conclusion. Practice the SNAP:  

  • Stop: breathe, meditate, tap and remember you are not the struggle unless you choose to be. The serpents in your mind love a good victimization and stone throwing party…leaving you hung over in anger and frustration that fuels the I’m Stuck program. Life is too short to throw your moments away along with your inner peace.  
  • Notice: What conclusions are you making that is based in “story” verses fact? Notice the power you are giving to the circumstance to define your sense of value, worth and capability. Notice your main emotion and where it is showing up in your body. Stress and disease walk hand in hand.  
  • Ask: Is this mine to work through or someone else’s? Too often we cast ourselves as the main character in someone else’s drama. You are more effective if you get off the stage and maintain integrity, peace and calm…emotional intelligence is a powerful first line of defense.  
  • Pivot: Turn away from “below the line” behaviors: blame, shame, ugly talk, gossip, stone throwing. Lean into behaviors that showcase the person you are committed to being in this world. Erase negative thoughts and replace them with positive, curious thoughts that open your minds ability to access solution based thinking.  

 Lauren E Miller, has a Masters in Adult Education with a Certification in Human Resources Development. She has personally conquered two of life’s top stressors at the same time, advanced cancer and divorce. Now Google’s #1 Stress Relief Expert, Award Winning Author, HRD Trainer and Certified Sherpa Executive Coach, Lauren provides process driven programs and custom trainings with structure, guidance, support and accountability designed to create positive change in behavior resulting in positive impact on business (IOB) and life purpose.  Explore More: http://LaurenEMiller.com  

10 energy busters that wreak havoc on productivity

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How’s your energy these days? On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the highest energy and 1 being the lowest, where do you place yourself today?

If you fall below the mid-point of 5, your energy is under attack and your productivity is paying the price.

This article will offer you some powerful awareness around specific energy busters that you will want to avoid along with opportunities for self-reflection when it comes to your ability to preserve your energy.

In order to live beyond a block in life it’s important to first understand what that block means to you and how it specifically effects your performance. Your performance is made up of behaviors that you exhibit that have a direct impact on business.

A productive day is the ramification of positive behaviors that directly or indirectly impacted your performance. In that context, let’s take a closer look at energy.

Energy is your capacity for action which often rises and falls depending upon interior and exterior forces that spill over into your behavior.

For example, let’s say you are woken up several times throughout the night to take care of your child who is going through a phase of night terrors.

Regardless of what happened at night, your work day starts at 9 am and won’t end until 6 or 7 pm. As a result of exterior forces that resulted in disrupted sleep, you start your day on half a tank of energy which directly impacts your behaviors thus compromising your performance and ultimately your productivity.

Your capacity for action has been hijacked by an exterior force: your child’s night terrors. The coaching question to ask yourself in this situation is simple: what do I want to do about it?

Your first response might sound something like this: “What do I want to do about it? I can’t do anything about it, I can’t help that my child had night terrors throughout the night and I’m now sleep deprived.”

You’re right, you can’t do anything about the fact that your child woke up with night terrors AND you can always choose how you want to behave moving forward.

When I was diagnosed with advanced cancer one week prior to my final divorce court date, I felt that I could not change the external forces coming my way AND I could always choose how I wanted to respond to it. Stress is the power you give to outside circumstance to define what you believe you are capable of handling successfully. Your energy is directly linked to how much power you give away in any given day to external forces around you.

You also have another space that is either an energy leak or energy conservation: the space between your two ears.

Your thoughts are directly linked to energy conservation and renewable energy. Renewable energy is the ability to give out energy without depleting the source.

The source that we are talking about is the source of YOU: your mind, will and emotions. This is the internal force that either lifts you up and out of the thickness of life circumstances or keeps you stuck and depleted. We are talking about your attitude towards life along with the behaviors that flow from your attitude. An attitude is a fixed state of mind.

A powerful quote by Henry Ford sums this up perfectly, “Whether you believe you can or you can’t you’re right.”

As your thoughts drop into your mind, you as the landlord of those thoughts can either evict what creates an energy leak or give free rent to what doesn’t…the choice of yours and makes all the difference in the outcomes your experience.

Let’s create some clarity of focus for accuracy of response around specific energy busters that hijack your energy in life and directly impact your performance and productivity in the long haul.

I say long haul because you may be able to pretend that you are ok with some of the following energy busters for a little while, yet they are shown to have a negative impact on productivity when repeated over and over during an extended period of time.

We will look at exterior energy busters first and then move to the interior energy busters.

5 Exterior Energy Busters

  1. Social Media: Because of the dopamine loop nature attached to social media, stress levels actually increase resulting in fatigue of the mind and depleting your capacity for action. Do you want a productive day? Stay off of social media unless it’s your job.
  2. Leaving Action Loops Open: An action loop involves 3 steps: Start => Do => Stop. Too often you have multiple action loops open: Start => Do/ Start => Do/ Start => Do. Too many mental jobs left in the unfinished mind space results in brain fatigue. See how many action loops you can close today. Even if it’s a long term project, intentionally decide on what part you want to start, then do it, then stop doing it and move onto the next action loop. As much as we brag about being able to multitask, science continues to reveal that it’s an energy buster. Do one thing at a time.
  3. Interruptions: All too often we are waiting to be interrupted, particularly when we are working on a project we are not passionate about. Set healthy boundaries around your time and communicate ground rules to your direct reports, collegues and yourself. A ground rule in this case would be the best way to stay on task for you. For example: I commit to scheduling one hour each afternoon to answer high importance emails, I will turn off all electronic interruptions and notify team members of my choice to focus. Use this for mindful living as well: I commit to pausing, breathing and setting the intention before each meeting I facilitate.
  4. Unproductive Behavior: In Sherpa Executive Coaching, we use coaching tools that address those behaviors that do not have a positive impact on business. Two of those behaviors are anger and intimidation, both of which drain your energy, your capacity for action along with your abilities to create positive connections within your organization. Other non-productive behaviors that are energy busters include: gossip, ugly talk, stone walling, taking offense (taking things personally), playing the victim and avoiding conflict. Which one do you relate to? What is the ramification of that behavior? How specifically does it drain your energy as the receiver or sender of the negative behavior? What do you want to do about it moving forward? What positive change behavior can you begin to implement instead of the negative behavior? Our goal is energy conservation. What behaviors can you do instead that make you renewable? Behaviors you can commit to where you can expend energy without depleting the source (YOU).
  5. Bad News: When your expectations exceed reality you will experience dis-satisfaction. Bad news of any kind is an energy buster in life. Perhaps it’s a job promotion you wanted and someone else got it, a big account that did not renew or in my case, an advanced cancer diagnosis. Remember this simple truth: you can’t always control what shows up in life AND you can always control your response to it. Bad news can often times be labeled as failure. What if you committed to a talking back each time you come face to face with an undesirable outcome? An example of this practice looks like this: It’s not rejection, it’s simply direction. Flip your script and take back the power you give to exterior circumstances to define your worth, value and capability. Another phrase you can use is: this is an opportunity for learning and growth, what can I learn from this situation to make me a better leader in life? Be the boss of your expectations, don’t let your expectations become the boss of you.

Which of the above energy busters triggered by an external force do you relate to the most? Declare a positive action step that you will commit to now moving forward.

A huge part of mindful living offers you the opportunity to implement positive mental shifts from the problem to the solution.

5 Interior Energy Busters

Now let’s explore energy busters that are fueled by internal forces. This means that your capacity for action is diminished due to negative thinking that comes from the following categories:

  1. Comparisons: Any time you compare yourself to another human being its as if you are saying that they have something you need in order to feel that you are successful, enough or secure. It’s an energy buster that exists between your two ears and can block your ability to perform at the top of your game. Be you, everyone else is taken. There is no one like you and when you focus on and maximize what you bring to the table, you up your energy factor.
  2. Self-Doubt: This is a lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities. Self-doubt is the root cause of comparisons. How many times have you laid awake at night replaying a scene from your day wishing you had said this or that or done something different? What if moving forward you simply took accountability for what is yours and release what belongs to other people. Once you have determined what is yours to own ask yourself: What do I want to do about it? At times it may be apologizing, at other times you will have the opportunity to let go of what is not yours to own. Increase your confidence in yourself and your abilities and this practice will become easier for you. In Sherpa Executive Coaching we use a tool called the O.W.N model. The “O” stands for: Is my opinion needed? The “W” stands for: Does this belong to someone else or is it mine to own? The “N” stands for: If it is mine to own, what does this person need from me?
  3. Fear: This is the big one that will suck the energy out of you quicker than poop through a goose as my Grandfather used to say. Good old fear. According to Zig Ziglar, fear has two meanings: Forget Everything and Run (energy buster) or Face Everything and Rise (energy booster). The choice is yours and makes all the difference in your ability to perform and be productive. Fear tends to be a very obnoxious tenant between your two ears in that it takes up all of your attention, leaving no room for positive thoughts that are fueled by courage and curiosity. One of the best books I’ve ever read on fear was written by Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. One huge fuel behind fear is the thought: I can’t handle this. The next time you catch a thought fueling your fear link it to a positive statement: The more I feel I can’t handle this situation, the more confident I become in my ability to tune into available solutions. This is a neurolinguistic programming tool that can help override fearful thoughts by creating a positive anchor statement.
  4. Worry: The best definition I’ve heard for worry is to allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles. The reason why I like this definition so much is because it contains a choice point: allow one’s mind. This means you can choose to allow or not allow. You can be the boss of your thoughts. Stop dwelling on what you think might happen. Studies continue to reveal that up to 85% of what you worry about never happens. The rest of the study revealed that what you do worry about and walk through was not as bad as you thought. Worrying also shrinks your brain mass due to the dump of the stress hormones associated with worrying. You may push back and say: “I can’t help it” which takes us to our next energy buster: victimization. When you get fixated on something you are worried about change your behavior to interrupt the thought pattern: dance, whistle, laugh (even if it’s fake it works), sing, listen to uplifting music, take a walk and or reach out to help someone in need. You can also practice peeling the onion. This is a technique that requires you to get to the root of what is fueling the worry. Taking some kind of action empowers you to override the thought that is busting your energy.
  5. Victim Mentality: This is a mental prison that keeps you stuck. It sucks the energy and willpower right out of your ability to do something about undesirable circumstances. Healthline suggests that a victim mentality rests on 3 key beliefs: bad things happen and will continue to happen, other people or circumstances are to blame and any efforts to change things will fail so there is no point in trying. If I bought into these beliefs, I’d be dead today. The doctors told me they were trying to get me 5 more years of life back in 2006. I had a choice point to make, to give power to the diagnosis or to the strength within me. You have a choice to do the same each time you come face to face with an undesirable situation. Unzip and step out of the cloak of victimhood, it is a major energy buster that robs you of your ability to step out of your comfort zone, take risks and champion your human potential. Next time you feel the victim mentality creeping in ask yourself: What would I do if I believed I had the power to do something about this undesirable situation

Energy is your capacity for action. Renewable energy lies in your ability to expend energy without depleting the source. Write down the energy busters you most identified with in this article.

Next, write down the action step you will commit to taking that will patch up the energy leak and promote energy preservation.

 Lauren E Miller, has a Masters in Adult Education with a Certification in Human Resources Development. She has personally conquered two of life’s top stressors at the same time, advanced cancer and divorce. Now Google’s #1 Stress Relief Expert, Award Winning Author, HRD Trainer and Certified Sherpa Executive Coach, Lauren provides process driven programs and custom trainings with structure, guidance, support and accountability designed to create positive change in behavior resulting in positive impact on business (IOB) and life purpose. Explore More: http://LaurenEMiller.com